i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
