batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
