Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
