my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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