its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
