you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
