I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize