i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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