Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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