i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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