did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
