thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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