im holly from the hills drunk
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
