***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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