The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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