After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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