I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
