I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I didn't notice because vodka
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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