U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
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