apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
