I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
