At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
