did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
