I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
