A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
