What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
