Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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