they need to just BURY HIM!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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