Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
