Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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