Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
