East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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