she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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