So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I need to calm my uterus...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
