if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
When are your genitals available?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
