the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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