You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
