I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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