bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
