He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
