he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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