I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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