Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
