last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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