so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
