If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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