We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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