ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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