Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
what is it with giant penises always finding me
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
