im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
