from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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