Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize