I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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