his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
