strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
