his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
