Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
