Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you didnt know i had herpes?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
