Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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