she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
