My first STD was from a foam party
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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