I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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