The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
